My P’s

You were right When you said you weren't enough But when you left I saw that I was always enough    

She lays, curled tight in a ball The moon shining its hollow light through her window Her head hurts from dehydration For her body grows dryer with every tear that falls A bitter metallic taste floods her mouth As she bites her forearm to muffle the sobs...

I let everything rise up The hopes The happiness The self esteem Then they come crashing down Every time You'd think I would have learned by now      

He says I get one more chance To show him he is worth something to me To not fuck up, again But how do I show he means everything to me When he shows me I am worth nothing to him

There's a place The air sparkles, pieces of stars all around you The grass is soft, bright green, it smells freshly mowed The sun spreads warmth through your body The breeze is there, but oh so soft, calm Aspen trees hold hundreds of green leaves The air...

So my walls grew higher My tears fell heavier My heart fell dark and cold  

You laugh Your chin high You know what I have done My head hangs in disappointment Tears fall onto the pillow The one I hold tightly against me Hoping it might stop the shaking Hoping it will untangle these tight knots in my stomach Thoughts race through...

I tell myself I am only a human body With organs and nerves Like a robot With screens and wires I cover my mind with this scientific mask Yet I still feel this pain inside my chest I feel the tension of these whispering voices in my head I feel clear,...

somehow I find comfort here, in this small, old, cabin bedroom even when you blamed me for all that happened between us between me I guess I found warmth in the spirits of these brown speckled walls