9/24/19
“Grief doesn’t have a plot, it isn’t smooth. There is no beginning and end.” — Ann Hood —
I really felt this quote because it rings so true, I haven’t had to go through many losses, but this quote represents what I’ve felt with the couple of losses I have gone through. Grief is a wound that never really stops throbbing, you may have accepted it, but it will still be there. Sometimes you might even think it’s over until you step into the hot bath you have drawn yourself because you think maybe it’s time to relax. So you try to lay down, but the hot water will burn your open wound, the wound you thought was healed. The water will soon become pink and you’ll be surrounded by the memories because that’s all you have left. Or maybe you do relax because your wound has been covered with a hard shield. So you soak, and so does that scab, it becomes flimsy. You don’t notice it as you dry yourself off, and with one wipe of your soft towel, the flimsy shield will be ripped away and your wound will be open once again. But, let’s say you make it through the bath and the towel, your wound is still protected, so you sit on your bed, cluelessly picking at your scab. You’ve always picked at your scabs, maybe you find it satisfying, but after, your wound will be revealed to the cold air around you, so again, the memories will flow out of you, and the air adds a cold twist to them. Now your wound is unprotected and defenseless, it’s prone to infection. So nurture it, and be conscious of it, but never dwell on it.